Adulthood

When I was little, all I wanted to be was an adult. It seemed like as an adult, you could do anything and it looked powerful to someone who is little. When I was 5 years old, I'd sit in the bathroom with my mom and watch her every move. Watch her put on her makeup, watch her curl her hair. I told my mom "Mom, I can't wait to be a woman." She'd chuckle at my comment, kiss me, and say "Trust me, you will want to be five again when you are a woman". I'd shake my head and say "Nope".

No matter how you look at it, Mom's are always right....

Being a responsible adult is one of the most challenging things I have ever encountered. Of course, everyone has to go through it. I felt prepared when I was eighteen. Voting? easy. Car payment? easy. Adulthood. easy.

As I get older, I look back when I was eighteen and shake my head. How could I be so naive? I didn't even know the half of it. Now at twenty three, I'm still rusty at adulthood. It's something that I may never catch up with.

Yesterday, as I was heading home after a long day in the heat at work, I drove past a cop on the road and I did what everyone does when they see a cop. I got that horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach and looked directly to see how fast I was going. Dang it. Over the speed limit. I look behind me and see those red and blue lights flashing. Swell. I went through the questionaire that they always give you(where are you heading, do you know why I pulled you over). Since, I am normally a very careful driver, I figured she would let me off with a warning after seeing that my license has no points. I was wrong. She wrote me a beautiful pink ticket that said to call to find out how much I owe. As I drove away, my gas light came on. Then out of the middle of now where, numbers, money signs were going through my head. Rent was due, car needed gas, pile of bills sitting at home that need paid, and wedding alcohol needed paid this week. As I drove to the gas station a single tear fell down my cheek. How am I going to afford the next few months? I want to be 5 again in the worst way....

Weddings are a 40 billion a year industry. Sean & I budgeted our wedding as best as we could. We did away with things that we didn't need or were not important to us. But when it comes down to it, this is still going to be very expensive.

After a lovely evening mass with Sean, we talked about our fears and our finacial status. It makes me feel so much better when he tells me "I will forever take care of you, and money will never be a worry of yours, we will make it".

I went to bed knowing that everything would be ok. Just a bad day. Nothing I can't control. Tomorrow will be better. Money just buys stuff. All I want is Health and Happiness.

My mother was right when she told me, that when adulthood finally hit, I'd be ready for 5 again. Sure, getting that ticket made me feel aweful, but coming home to Sean makes me not ever want to be a kid again. Being in love is by far the best gift. Money cannot buy what we have.

Thank you, Mom for the advise as a little girl.  But I am ready to kick adulthood in the behind.

I've got this!



-Lindsey