Where has the time gone?

As I sit here and think that in just 2 more months, Sean & I will be celebrating our first year of marriage. HOLY. COW. Where has the time gone? Seriously though, it feels like yesterday I was walking done the aisle to meet my other half. This year has brought tons of  bear hugs, kisses, belly laughs, some tears, some anxiety(like how were going to pay ALL of our bills, seriously, its not even right). But most of all, this past year has brought us even closer than before. I have learned so much more about him, and him about me. Like he now knows that if we start watching a movie at 9pm, I WILL fall asleep after the opening credits, and I learned that he sleeps in the most ridiculous positions known to man kind. This morning I found his head in the middle of our queen size bed, wrapped like a caterpillar and his feet halfway off the bed, I mean really? That cannot be comfortable.

He learned that I hate to cook, and that baking is the only way to go. Cookies for dinner? Of course.

But after 4 years together, 1 year engaged and now almost 1 year married, I love him more than anything in this entire world. Even more than red M&Ms, and that says a lot.

We have been through so much together, and at the beginning of our marriage, I had a lot of health issues that scared us both. We made it through that, just like we will make it through everything else. Life with him is perfection. That is only word I can use to explain our relationship with each other and with life.

Now we get to share that love and perfection with a  little puppy that loves us so much. It is funny how having a puppy prepares you for children. In the past 3 weeks, I have learned more about dog poop than I would ever like to know. Learned about vaccinations, worms(gross) and puppy vomit(again, gross). But he is such a little angel. I honestly cannot wait to have children. But I can wait, if you catch my drift. :)

 Happy Weekend Everyone!

~Lindsey

Blessings....

Do you ever have those days where you come home from an awful day at work, and the only thing you want to do is lay down, put covers over your head and lay in pure silence because you think you cannot take it anymore??

Yesterday I had one of those days...

As I walked into the house after what felt like the longest 8 hour day ever, I see my husband, my puppy, be lazy, and I got this huge smile on my face. I felt for once in my life, at complete peace. I felt calm. I felt so safe. I felt strong. I felt independent. I said to myself, I love my life. I thought to myself that no matter what bad things happen during the day, I have this to come home to.

Sean had the biggest grin on his face, and said "Look Oscar, look who is home, it's mama." Hearing those words come out of his mouth made my heart skip a beat. How does he always manage to make my heart still pound after 5 years? Mama. Just then, I had thought, how wonderful it will be to have children with this man. To have him say that to a child as I walk into the door. To hear those words, it made my day. For the first time in my entire life, I felt at peace.

As a newly wed, I hear the "So when are you going to try to start having kids" sentence about 20 times a day. Does this surprise you? Whenever I hear others ask me this question, I feel half sick to my stomach, nervous, clammy, and pretty sure I turn green. Having kids? NOW? My answer in my head is "OH GOD NO". But I always manage to say "It has only been 9 months, I'd like to enjoy being a newly wed for some time longer, before we bring a child into our lives." Sounds mature enough, even though inside my head I am screaming and gasping for air, and teaching myself to breathe, as if I already didn't know how.

When Sean said the word "Mama" I turned to a complete puddle of mush. I felt calm, and suddenly the thought didn't scare me half as bad as when others would ask about it. When Sean smiles at me, or we talk about baby names, or talk about the future it NEVER scares me. Sean has this way of making me calm, and saying all the right things, and he doesn't even know he does it.

Grant it, I am still aware Sean was talking to our puppy Oscar, and not a child, but someday...someday..

For right now though, Oscar is our child. He does everything a child would do(sometimes even more) and trust me, we are both completely worn out as he does keep us on our toes. But we love him so much.

~Lindsey